The beginning of the day was refreshing after a long bath with my strawberry bubbles and BVLGARI shampoo and conditioner. i feel much alive and energetic. i cleaned my bed, my wardrobe & my room. everything seems so perfect while waiting for boyfriend to wake up.
But the rest of the day since evening, sucks like fcuk ! everything seemed sucks. mama n papa sucks. boyfriend sucks. i suck.
Went to town to get a peace of mind, but it didn't work out. i was tempted to keep kolling him and shout at him the best i could. But like i knew, sarcasm was my best point. it didnt get any better though. i became more depressed. i didnt know what else to do.
No mood. went back home as Haziq was waiting for me at MSN. called boyfriend in the bus, informing him. he was kinda jealous. now i think i made thgs worst by telling him, but i didnt wanna hide at the same time. Went out of the bus and still talking to him. he talks about spending money on me everytime we met, cos we meet almost everyday these days. main point was i am broke now and he lended me almost $500 for my TP. and plus when we go out, money spent on food and all, on me..
He said he didnt mean to bring it up, bt he actually did. Im very taken back by what he said. really. im really working very hard to pay him back, i really did. thts one of the reason i took two jobs. i plan to work everyday, so atleast by end of the month, hopefully i cn get the $600 for him. Its like ive really troubled him too much. ive relied on him too much.
At the same time, i really think that he doesn't know how to take care of my heart anymore.
Im really depressed. i dont wanna talk to him. ive been holding back my tears too much since i went out just now. nw its time i let it out.
leave me alone.
