The beginning of the day was refreshing after a long bath with my strawberry bubbles and BVLGARI shampoo and conditioner. i feel much alive and energetic. i cleaned my bed, my wardrobe & my room. everything seems so perfect while waiting for boyfriend to wake up.
But the rest of the day since evening, sucks like fcuk ! everything seemed sucks. mama n papa sucks. boyfriend sucks. i suck.
Went to town to get a peace of mind, but it didn't work out. i was tempted to keep kolling him and shout at him the best i could. But like i knew, sarcasm was my best point. it didnt get any better though. i became more depressed. i didnt know what else to do.
No mood. went back home as Haziq was waiting for me at MSN. called boyfriend in the bus, informing him. he was kinda jealous. now i think i made thgs worst by telling him, but i didnt wanna hide at the same time. Went out of the bus and still talking to him. he talks about spending money on me everytime we met, cos we meet almost everyday these days. main point was i am broke now and he lended me almost $500 for my TP. and plus when we go out, money spent on food and all, on me..
He said he didnt mean to bring it up, bt he actually did. Im very taken back by what he said. really. im really working very hard to pay him back, i really did. thts one of the reason i took two jobs. i plan to work everyday, so atleast by end of the month, hopefully i cn get the $600 for him. Its like ive really troubled him too much. ive relied on him too much.
At the same time, i really think that he doesn't know how to take care of my heart anymore.
Im really depressed. i dont wanna talk to him. ive been holding back my tears too much since i went out just now. nw its time i let it out.
leave me alone.
I dont know why, i just feel like starting to blog again since i last stopped ages ago. my feelings tells me that i can foresee a brighter and more colourful life this New year 2011. (:
hmm, Bby went out to countdown last night at RUPEE ROOM. well, i actually find myself very, and i mean VERY daring to let him go to the club without me. but like everyone says, its all about trust. Ive been with him for 3 years plus, yet he nvr cheated on me. so i also think tht there's no reason i shud nt trust him cos he deserves it. (:
Well, of cos i was worried of what MIGHT happen.. I mean, in life, and even in relatnshps, expect the unexpected. Jealous was another thing, cos he went without me, but i cant blame him. The whole blame is on me. really. maybe i shall talk about why i didnt follow him some other time okae?
But on the good side, i was happy to see him happy and enjoying himself. i made him a proud guy bcos he has an awesome girlfriend who lets him enjoy and give him space. and seeing him happy, it really made me smile. i made my Bby smile on the first day of 2011 (: a very good start indeed.
Oh yes, nt forgetting someone who troubles him family ytdy bcos she was drunk. i mean, if you wanna spoil urself and find it cool, go n die and dnt trouble others lah. and like what kak Ain said, what a way to start new year. what the hell.
As for today, the whole day was spent at work.
12 to 5 at popeyes. Work was fun with Riz, Yoyo & Theba. one of the best working days.
6 to 9 at Etude House. It was nt as bad as what i expected. but i stil think the people there are quite arrogant except for this newcomer which happen to be my schmate at TP. lol. but i dnt her lah. but maybe im in a new working environment, thts why i feel tht way. i think ill get used to it though. (: but BEST of all, both work DOUBLE PAY ! 1 hour $9. so tht means today i earned $72 altogether in just 1 day ! wee !~
Waiting for Bby to get home frm BBQ frm his aunts house. tmw no plan sia.. but maybe celebrating belated countdown since i didnt go ytdy. see hw lah. Hehe :P
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
