Dearest diary ,
as of today , kirin came and accompanied me at my crib . i just need company , bcos i'll think of him when im alone . after tht , met mummy at msl station and print her raya pics . aft tht , go horizon food mall at cwp and ate chicken rice and ice kachang ! :D
& mummy blanja me a new Za foundation . the case PINK colour y'knw !
i likeeeeee !! (((:
so basically , tht was the highlight for the day . LOL !

look at this pic below ...

the whole room pink&purple siaa ! hw i wish my room was liddat !
wooooooo !!!
plus plus plus , theseeeeee ...

best ryteeeeee ? !!!!!!!
okay , random . -_________-
LMAO !

Dearest diary,
so its true . he really did treat me like a friend .
well , enough of this half-assed rltnshp bcos
im going to move on .

You have your plans , and i have mine .

but one thing for sure ,

Dearest diary,
english and maths are OVER & done with . pheww ! was quite manageable though . except the maths paper 2 , i lose 10 marks bcos i didn't haf the tyme ans the last qn . 'O's somemore y'knw ! ):

oh well , it's over anw ryte ?
now really need to buck up on social studies . such a pain in the butt siaa ! like SS ?!
fyi , i haf NVR passed SS before . how ?!! STRESS SIOL !
3 days left to SS . -,-

okay sidetrack abit , as of today , idk whts wrong with everybody .
the day started off bad when Nana didn't msg me tht she went ti sch ald . finish paper , she walked off also . like wtf siaa . as if im invisible or wht .
so sick of this kinda friends laa okay . menyusahkn je .
aku tkde kwn pon lg cantek ah kn . sial .
aft tht , somemore gt the cheeks to msg me "babe , tmw gg interview anot ?"
wtf .

in addition to tht , im so disappointed with boyfriend . idk y he changed so much .
i feel like he's playing arnd with my feelings . im just so fucked up .
fine ! u want it tht way ryte ?
go on laa . im sick and tired ald laa okay . serious shit .
do whtever u want .
rmbr eyh , this is all ur decision . if it turns out bad otr into ntg at the end , i'll nvr forgive u .
I SWEAR .
boyfriend , in case u're reading this , yes , it's meant for YOU .

im done . ntg else to say except ,
i feel cheated , boyfriend .
yes , i really do . even if u didn't mean it .

okay i knw i haf alot of updating to do . so , beware ! LONG POST AHEAD !

18/10
happy birthday mama !
we went to TKC for dinner . ate steak , and it was damn nice !

19/10
happy 1 yr 11 mths anniversary bbylove !
bt he didn't wished me today .
thnks eyh !

mugging till late night . haiz ..

22/10
it's my 'O' lvl sci pract paper . it was quite easy though . bt there was one part tht shot me dwn ; i got the anion right , bt they ask to name & i gave the symbol ! WTF ! idk whether im still getting marks for tht , bcos i got the ans ryte , it's jst tht i didn't name it . SCREWED .


24/10
my house was fully packed . open house laa kan . all thnks to my mom who invited the millions of pple to come today as she didn't let ANYONE come on raya . wth . bcos she wants it all to go on 1 day . -_______-
today's also boyfriend's mom's birthday . they invited me to join them go out bt i can't bcos i haf guest at my house . haiz . if nt i'll ald be in the s'pore flyer agn , and even get to ride on his motor the whole day . :( bt im sooooo glad he asked me out , which proves me wrong .
he IS serious abt me . =D

and today , everyone's out . he came to my house to put songs in his psp . then ride his bike and off to cwp . normally , he won't wanna go there bcos it's boring . bt this time , idk y he wants . he can taaaaalk the whole walk , in which , is good . cos we get to catch up with each other's life . (:
i feel so close to him today . the thing i've been missing so much .
him hugging , kissing & holding my hands auto-ly , makes me feel his again .
and when he sent me back home , and those goodbye kisses , haish ..
i miss boyfriend aldy . :(

Dearest diary ,
im soooo happy today ! i get to meet boyfriend after a month of nt meeting !
idk y i felt so nervous like hell when i saw hym . feels abit weird at first .
met him in the train . but didn't get to be near him as the train was packed .
when we got off , i ran n hugged him tightly . haix .. rindu taO !

the plan was to watch movie . either "DARAH" or "500 Days of summer" .
since darah is a M18 show , he managed to buy the tickets . and they nvr ask for IC ! haha . baek urhs !
so at last , watched "DARAH" lorrhs !

this movie was a hardcore , i tell you !
very the violent nk mampos y'knw !
heads kena chop off , body cut to half , lips tear , killing here and there ..
so many larhs ! TOTALLY nt for the weak-hearted pple . SERIOUS SHIT !
boyfriend watched until his hands got so cold tht he can't even grab my hands tightly .
kesian bbyku . tsk tsk tsk .

after tht , we walked home . otw , we stopped under this one blk .
well , he was busy calling hys friends abt the nyte lepak-ing . -,-
then he saw my bored face , he gave me a kiss . aww !
spend some time there and then we make our bk home .

he send me until the blk beside mine . i salam hym then he gave me a looooong kiss .
haix .. which shows tht he still loves me .. doesn't it ?

i just enjoyed today .
bt still , i wish i was officially his nw . ='(

Dearest diary,
as you can see , i just got my nose pierced ! like AT LAST ! i wanted this from last tyme sia .
happy happy ! :D
was scared to pierce at ferst . took 1/2 an hour just to do one pierce bcos i was scared . Nana was motivating me all the way bt i was still nt convinced . hees .
wasting so much time , the aunty just pulled me and bang ! finish already .
haha ! kekek siak ! didn't hurt as much as i thought . hees . (:

went to civic library to study . straightaway went to toilet to look at my piercing . haha ! so kecoh sia . & so the jakon too . -_- somemore can camwhore at the toilet . haha ! somehw , i think we look more like kakak2 now .

LOL .bt i can't seem to concentrate bcos when i look at the book , i saw stg shiny , the stud ! hahah ! irritating sia .
then at last , cnnt study ald , lepak at cwp until mom called asking me to buy McChicken & shrooms meal for lil' bro . yeah he eats tht much y'knw ! bt nvr n cnnt grow fat one . like me . (:

aft tht went under Nana's blk to put on the transparent earstick if nt i'll be slaughtered by mom . hehe . blood byk oi ! scary sia .

the whole day i kept changing studs and earsticks bcos the diameter of the stud is bigger than the earstick . i dun wan it to close up , thts why .

i told boyfriend abt it . at fesrt , i thought he was gonna shout or show no interest laa kan . bt then , inversely , he somemore can tell me "U .. kte gy pierce lidah same2 ah ! nk ? "
(translated : u , we go pierce our tongue together want ?)
MAMPOS ! so out of my thoughts sia ! hahahah !
idk y our conversation today was so rancak . like soooo long since we talked like tht . (:

& he asked me out for a movie this sat ! wee ~!

idk y i felt like readg the long post posted by boyfriend in this blog the last tyme .
somehw , it was just calling me .
after readg , idk y suddenly i feel so sad . sad tht everythg had to be over . sad tht those are just "used to bes" . sad bcos it nvr gonna be the same again .

& all of a sudden , it makes me miss US . makes me miss hym more than ever .
so i called hym just nw just to hear his voice .

& as usual , he knws there was stg nt ryte . idk hw he knws .
are there some sorta chemistry between us ?
is tht wht they call LOVE ?

and so i texted him wht happened bt there was no replies from hym .
does he doesn't knw wht to reply or just plainly lazy to entertain this matter ?
i wonder wht cud be in his mind at tht moment .
does he feel wht i feel ?

when i told hym im going to sleep , he called saying sorry tht he didn't reply . so i asked , wht was he gonna reply actually then ? bt he said 'nothing ..' . is it really nthg ?

so many question unanswered .
bt if i was given a chance to ask just ONE question ,
it wud be ,
do you still promise forever ?

i've been ton-ing alot nowadays . didn't get enuf sleep . haiz . bt who cares ryte ?
bt it did get boyfriend out of my mind for awhile . if nt , i'll be thinking abt hym non-stop . -_-

Os are getting nearer . fuck .
& mugging has been a routine for me nowadays too , besides ton-ing .

life's been unfair these days .
bt im nt gonna bother .
bleagh .

&& ohhs , "pierce-out" necklace is ready . nice ? :D

& yes , i still care okay . and i still do .
i miss boyfriend so much .

Dearest diary,
idk whts to become of me n boyfriend . im so confused . im still wondering why i want him so much , why i need him so much . why can't i just get over & done with him ?
cos the truth is , i really love him too much .

oh well . another timeout ? well , im nt suprised .
same shit , different day .
im so pissed off . idk wht to do . idk idk idk !
it's like a cycle , y'knw .
& im so getting use to it .

was it me or was it you ? or maybe , was it US ?
stop making me like this , can ? bcos it's fucking hurting .
since im with you , waiting has always been my job . yeah u wud be saying didn't asked me to .
bt why do u think i did ?

SERIOUS SHIT , it's all up to YOU .
i'll just pretend not to bother .
i'll just pretend i dun care .
i'll just pretend i don't miss you .
i'll just pretend i dont love you .
why ? simple.
bcos i bet no other girls will love you as much as i do .

K BYE .