Last 2 days plus today was my paper and i totally screw it up . i studied at the very last min, and ntg gets into my head . by then, i knw it's too late to even approach anyone for help . im so clueless abt what im doing & im very worried cos i can only do 1/4 of the paper, and most them i left blank !

Maybe im too used to studying last min frm sec sch until nw, thinking i cud get tht kinda luck every tyme . but i was SO wrong . who said poly life wasn't as tough ? i think it's worst than my sec sch days , in terms of studies i mean . if in term of friends, i made many gd frens in poly who always encouraged this lazypig fren of theirs to study but i just wudn't listen . dnt say frens, even Boyf who constantly nags and blabber asking me to study also i didn't wanna follow . what a stubborn bitch i am siaa . and nw, im regretting everythg . bt wats there to be done nw ?

At first, i was too afraid to tell Boyf abt this topic, bcos im afraid he'll blabber more abt what happened than wat i am suppose to do next . But in the end, as usual, he always knws when i am nt okay and he managed to found out himself and i thought wrong abt him, he's been very supportive and positive abt the situation, in which, makes me very touched . despite my stubbornness, he's still there for me and carrying me up when life came crashing on me . i also feel very ashamed towards him . :/

So you see, it so suck to be in a course that u dont wanna be in . seriously, NOTHING interest me at all in this course . i just took this bcos tht was my last resort if i wanna study in poly . and also, just to get a diploma . bt as for nw, im just afraid if i hafta retain or stg . *sigh* but in any cases, ive aldy promised Boyf to study harder and catch up faster no matter what the outcome will be . and i will . for me, Boyf and the diploma . i will . i promise, even i hafta force myself to love somethg i never liked .