Friday, June 12, 2009
Dearest diary,it's the first day of the timeout & he hasn't called or msged yet . no , im nt expecting any calls or msges , bt i just wanna knw his whereabouts and whtever he's doing bcos i still care , eventhough i was the one who asked for the timeout .
10th July , he's ald going for NS . there's so little time left tht i can spend w him . plus , im having tight curfews and stuffs , how is it possible to meet him ? at least , appreciate lah tht we still can talk on the phone . bt he still insists to meet . bt how am i suppose to ?! if given a choice , don't you think i wanna go out with you everyday ?! all this while i lied here and there just to get to meet you , get bck home and get caning and beatings and stuffs , until im being forced to leave the house and all , can't you just appreciate ?! no , im nt trying to ungkit bt thts pure FACT ! i want to spend your days with you before you go for NS , but not this way ! and now , you leave me alone in boredom and you still have the guts to tell me you dun wanna be like me ?! wtf ! is tht wht you call "going through thick & thin together" ?!
at first , i thought i was ego . i hated myself for it . not knwing tht you are more ego ! u care all about yourself , nt even wanting to spend ur time when i am bored , when i feel lonely . u only get to me when you're bored , when you haf ntg to do . wht do you take me for ? ur standby entertainer when boredom strikes ?!
i hope , in this timeout , you're gonna think it through . if you still think you're ryte , i really dunno wht to say ald . bt if im really being a "pagar" in ur life , if im such a burden or a nuisance in ur life , just let me go . cos i can't take it anymore and i dun wanna burden anyone's life anymore . my life sucks , i knw .
the conclusion is yours to make.
