Sunday, March 1, 2009
[Picture: tht was how close we were.. ):]Dear diary,
it's raning nw . but why don't he miss me anymore ? but most of all , y is he isn't here ?
we had our last talk at nyte . nothing has changed . i kept asking him about clubbing . hw dumb can he be to ask me " are you worried or wht ? " like DUH ? how could i not be worried when my own 'boyfriend' wanna go out and haf fun with other girls ? i mean , its common sense tht i wud be worried ryte ? pfft.
-_________-
he told me he still cared . and the next moment , he's not gonna care anymore . how much complicated does he want me to be ? if he REALLY cares , then nth tht i wud do wud stop him from caring for me , ryte ? and so , actually idk wth he's trying to do .
just yesterday , i thought it was gonna be easy to let go and move on . but i still can't deny , it's so hard living my life without him . idk how else i am suppose to put it in a way tht he wud understand . don't he miss all our memories ? the good and the bad times ? don't he miss me ? don't he miss US ? y is it so easy for him to let go ?
he said he can't give me a good future . so what ? do i care? doesn't he knw HE is my future ? doesn't he realise ? can't he just understand that i miss him SO BADLY now and i wanna be him at THIS MOMENT itself ? does he knws i love him more than anything else ? i wudn't trade him for anything or anyone . he's my precious . i love him a lotlotlotlotlotlotlotlot!! but y must everything come to an end so fast ? whyyy ?? haven't i gave enough ?
To baby: im sorry if i hurt you so much . but im just afraid that u wudn't come back .. im just so scared .. don't you miss us , sayaaang ? don't you love me anymore ? i just wanna be the ferst, the last, and the only girl u love . i dun wanna lose u to other girls . i knw im not tht beautiful or intelligent compared to other girls . i knw u deserve someone better than me . but like wht i've told you , " even if you're not coming back , i'll still wait for you . "
i love you very much , dear.. i swear i really do .
i miss you.
i miss you.
