Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Dear diary,idk hw or wht im feeling ryte nw. it's so confusing. idk wht else i shud say or do. every memories abt us just kept on haunting my mind. sometimes i wished i had nvr known or met him, turn back time and just be friends with him. sometimes i feel like i've wasted 1 yr of my life being with him . sometimes i feel like blaming myself for everything tht has happened. sometimes i feel tht i've made the biggest mistake of my life for loving him too much.
My hopes are getting thinner day by day. im almost out of hope already. idk why he can see and pitied other people's sorrow but nt mine? oh well, wht does he cares abt my sorrow anyway when they are caused by him?!
As for now, im thinking abt contacting him less often until the day he comes bck. i've realised wht a fool i was waiting for something tht i knw will come only in few months or years time?.. i love him more than anything else. i loved him too much tht i can't even believe tht we are actually nt together now. i've realised tht the more i love him, the more i expect him to be bck fast, the more he gets further away.
so maybe, i too shud take time off from him. i shud let him be whtever he wants to be. even when he says he's sad, i noe he's nt. i can see tht he's like enjoying this breakup for a simple reason, he got his freedom. well, tht was wht he wanted ryte? But i just hope one day he will realise hw important i am to him.
But unfortunately, tht will be the day when i dun believe in love anymore. im sorry.
