Saturday, February 28, 2009
(warning! long post ahead..!)Dear diary ,
okay i knw it's been quite a long time since i updated this kinda 'dead' blog of mine . i've been quite busy with family , studies , friendships , and my so-called ' relationship ' . well , so far life has been okay lahs for a heartbroken girl like me . just some holes and traps , here and there . my life's such a bitch . and i hate it . yes , i hate this life , especially the person living it . it's me of course , duh ?
now , im absofuckinglutely sick . tired . confused . like for real . i've tried my best already . i've done whtever i could . but , it was all unworthy. or maybe , i put too high hopes on him ? i don't knw .
people kept asking me to stop clinging hopes on him . yet , i find it kinda true . coz everytime i get my hopes high , i'll get a tight slapback when it falls . but how could i? but really , sometimes i feel like moving on and act as if he's never been in my life before. seriously. or maybe , i really should move on . i'll move on with everything , but except that i just leave my heart for him in case he's really coming back , can? well , a try doesn't kill ryte ? well , i've always been pessimistic . maybe its time to look on the bright side of life eh .
as for now, i wanna studystudystudy . pass my O's and then , NP here i comeeeee !! hmm , i've thought about the course i wanna take . since i wanna be in something that's media-cally active , i've decided to take MASS COMMUNICATION . but eng must be from 1-3 !!! nvm , must be confident ryte ? haha !
after O's , i wanna work in something that requires me to go home in the next morning or something . like gerek or wht ryte ?! PLUS , i can join back my malay dance girls for tons and tons of performances , even overseas ! i've signed the contract already btw ! PLUS , i wanna doll myself up . go for facial, SPA PERM , and anything to groom myself so tht i'll look on my best , BUT STILL , dyeing my hair is a BIG NO ! and then im gonna come home lateeee at nyte , lepak everyday !! whoa , i really cannot imagine life after O's . i'll make sure nobody , and i mean NOBODY , can stop me from doing so . but of course , i still have my limits though . duh ?
after getting my results , im gonna go to NP for the next stage of life . new , weird , preety , handsome , ugly , or any sort of people im gonna meet . im gonna make sure im gonna wear high-end fashion clothes to school . really . and i just hope i won't meet lame and immatured people like the ones in my current sucky class 5S1 nw . -__________-
reached 18 , im gonna take driving license . gotta do wht i gotta do. alone or with someone special , anything will do laa . drive girls' night out to clubbing or something with my poly girlfriends ? or even boy friends ? omgomgomg i can't waaaaaiitt !!
so far , thts the plan i planned and i'll stick with tht . all i knw , im gonna enjoy life to the core . im not gonna entertain any kind of shits like 'relationships' or so-called 'love' . it sucks y'knw . really .
so yeah , wish me luck for the upcoming years yeah . all i knw is , im gonna haf a great life . i'll make sure i do. and NOBODY can do anything to change my mind , including you , Khairin .
