Friday, January 30, 2009
Dear diary,things are starting to show up and getting better. im starting to feel as if i had the old him back. the undescribable one. okay tht says it all about my blog url ryte? lol.
But on another note, i dun really feel comfortable and safe nt having him officially mine, despite the fact tht we both noe we're gonna be bck together again. eventhough things are better nw, im just afraid tht history repeats itself. i mean, enuf of 2 timeouts. i dun wanna haf another okay. i dun wanna haf all these "wht if" thought whenever i think of him. i wanna think of him & smile instead of filling myself with sorrows & regrets.
Dear lover, am i loving you too much?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dear diary,im more confused than ever now. i met him today, and everything went so smoothly! i mean, we're supposed to be in a 'timeout' and we acted as if we were meant for each other. he's so sweet today. he's giving me hope tht we are gonna be together again one day. i mean, thts a good thing but, he makes me miss him more than ever now. his touch, his hugs and everything just nw just came gushing into my mind again. somehow, i wish it was for real. :/ well, at least we dun hafta be uncomfortable noeing tht we're on 'timeout' when we're actually meant for each other, ryte? i just dun like tht uncomfortable feeling of his. so suck. treating me as if im a stranger.
Esp tht part when we were in the bus, tht was totally the person i used to noe. im missing the old him. so loveable, romantic and protective. bt well, at least i got bck tht feeling for like.. 45 mins? oh well..
but somehw, i still dun understand my current status with him ryte nw. but no matter wht, even if he were to treat me like a temporary ex gf, i dun mind. nonono, i mind actually. hees (:
but one thing for sure, he will always be my babyboy, no matter wht.
well, tht shud explain my mood for today. CONFUSED.
Monday, January 26, 2009
To my loved ones..
thanks for being there for me at this kind of time; when i really need someone to understand me, someone to talk to, someone to be my listening ear.
thanks Sabby and Fred for standing up and being there for me.
thanks Abdah for bringing me out to peace up my mind and think thoroughly about the whole situation.
and not forgetting my true friend, Kirin, for being there for me in times of need and be my listening ear. thnks for the motivation and yeah, for making me realise tht i can go through this challenges.
i am nw stronger because of them.
you people are wht make me realise the importance of friends tht i once didn't believe in.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Dear diary,
idk wht to say. idk wht to do. im so heartbroken. nvr crossed my mind this wud ever happen to me.
oh time, freeze will you? gimme a break.
i cnnt stand this any longer. i just can't. it's too hurting for me. the more i think of it, the deeper the pain. bt tell me, hw cn i nt think of it?
evrything just happened so fast. u dun care abt me anymore. y so suddenly? WHY?!!
it's so easy for u to lemme go. i nvr thought u wud ever do tht.
NOT READY?! wht's tht shit all abt? 1 yr 2 mth of being together and still NT READY? thts pure LAMESHIT! wht an excuse. if u dun love me anymore, say so. dun hafta give me those stupid excuses!
boyy, y did u change so fast? who are u? u're nt the one i used to noe! y do u have to make things so difficult? n yes, i told you tht i will nt wait for you ANY LONGER. i told you to FUCK OFF.
but the truth is, im still waiting for ur return. i'll always do. i NEED you.
i love you.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Dear Diary,
i have to wake up freaking early today just to go to johor. -_- you see, my family goes to johor EVERY sunday and im getting bored of it. obviously nth fun happens thr except tht mama just bought me a new "beauty product" called Inner Shine. at first i thought it was something to cure but initially, they're just supplements. -_-
i went to baby's house today. nobody's thr. *shessh!* okay lemme lie to you, 'we didn't do anything'. haha! u shud noe larh heh.. took the taxi home coz i was late while baby went to rewang at his relative's wedding.
Sabby called me just nw.
Sabby: ehh fadaa. esok aku duduk ngan Hafiz taw..
Me: oh really? duduk ah. aku mmg duduk ngan Abdah..
Sabby: aku tau.. (sarcasticly)
Me: so whts you point nie actually?
Sabby: (trying to change the topic) ehh the timetable's up on the marsportal ald ehh?
Me: yeaps.
Sabby: hw u noe?
Me: aku dah tgk lahh.. (duhh?)
Sabby: okay larhs. tu je aku nk tanyer. bye.
-end of conversation-
whts with tht man? she thinks im gonna be jealous or wad? i dun mind nt sitting with her. it's just positions.. why make a big fuss about it ryte? wth.
what a moron.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
redom"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored."
Eric Hoffer
you see, boredom is just you. so when you're bored, dun blame anyone but yourself. haha. okay im talking crap. idk why this quote caught my attention. maybe bcoz im always bored?..
okay the truth is, i have nth to say today. haha!
okay bye. i noe today's post is crappy. xD
Friday, January 2, 2009
Dear diary,
Baby sent me to school today. he said tht today's my 1st day and it's a MUST. haha. actually, i do think so too. teehee =) then came Sabby and off we went to school. ohh ya! im bringing my new bag tht baby bought me!!
Ferst day of school was fine without Heidhar (a pain in the ass in class). and everything went fine.
esp when i got a msg from baby saying "gi skola eh? haha! have a gd day. ily" and my mood was better than before. the best part of today's class was tht we played this kinda game where we haf to write a msg to other people on their paper. and this is wht mine had;
You are focussed in class =) but somtimes you tend to miss afternoon lessons =( -Ms Tan
Your eyes are nice =) -Ka En
Stop staring at people okay? =) -Firdaus
She's a nice girl! -Nurl Anisah
Hope i will get to know u better -Shaheera
Good luck for SYF 2009! -Isk
Don't let us apart whtever obstacles comes! -Sabby
ohh i just hope i can be closer to my classmates this yr.
haha. DREAM ON! xD
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Dear Diary,
my wish did came true. today, he's much better than before. bt still, i dun wanna put high hopes on him just yet, cause evrytime i did tht, all i get is watching my hopes fall. so, yeah.. just hope this last.
basically today, my half a day is spent at Aunt Raidah's. celebrated the arrival of her newborn baby, Arian Ritz. well, i find his name quite unusual though. Ritz is a name of a biscuit ryte? haha! xD
didn't manage to take any pichas today coz my camera's batt is low. arghh! shudn't have missed taking pichas with the baby. =(
oh gawsh.
tmw school starts, and im still in my holiday mood. -_-
