time flies so fast that i didn't realise tt it's already 10 o'clock! i didn't talk to hym the whole of today. bt it's my decision though. bt thnx to hym for hys idea tt i came up with this challenge. a challenge tt will determine hw strong i am. nt strong in terms of *tooooot* okehh! ahaha. i wanna see hw long can i not talk to hym. i wanna feel wad it's like to be left alone. i wanna feel wad it's like losing hym. bt most of all, i wanna feel hws life without hym. bt i can tell u now.. it TOTALLY SUCKS!

i can't seem to get hym outta my head today. even when i tried keeping myself busy so tt he'll nt come into my mind, i still can't. he's an addiction! im so tempted to just take the fone now and dial hys no.! bt i can't. lyke wad he said.. i never meant wad i say.. i keep on saying sry bt there's no changes. tt's only thing tt i can think of to keep myself away from the fone. i dun want hym to think im the kinda girl who thought i was. he's wrong! and i gotta proof hym wrong! i HAVE TO. i MUST. and i SHOULD. bt seriously.. i dunno hw much longer i can take this.

he tried to approach me at the MSN just now. bt im too speechless to say anythink. i can't think of any words to describe this volatile mixed feelings of mine. when he's offline, all of a sudden i felt guilty. guilty of making this big decision. thoughts of me and hym haunted my mind. i rmbred the days at the chalet. tt was the day i felt so loved by hym. especially the nyte tyme when he cuddled me up like a lil' baby and he stroked my hair with sprinkles of love. i rmbred the tymes when we kissed and felt lyke the world belongs to only us. i keep playing back the ppt show i gave hym on our 4th mth anniversary again and again. our favourite song being played the whole day when im playing my comp. i rmbred the days we laughed our hearts out at every lil' crazy things we did. i rmbred the days when we were on the hill and sat they admiring the trees, squirrels and our so-called "butter-la". i rmbred the days when we made sweet promises to each other. i rmbred the days when we sneaked outta my room's window just to spend our nyte together no matter whard it takes. i rmbred the days when he said "i love you", "i miss you".

alryte. i dun wanna tok abt this anymore. today went jemputan. nt really in the mood. bt took some pics too. wanna see? alryte here it goes...!

tts all fhor today.

To hubby:

syg.. im missing you so much. bt i gotta do wad i gotta do. bt no matter wad, i still love you and i want you to always rmbr ur swear.

gd nyte syg.. sweet dreams.. and i love you so much, sweetheart.

missing u loads,

FaDaarling.